{"id":9,"date":"2021-06-13T18:01:31","date_gmt":"2021-06-13T18:01:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/writertonip.com\/?page_id=9"},"modified":"2022-09-17T17:55:16","modified_gmt":"2022-09-17T17:55:16","slug":"home","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/writertonip.com\/","title":{"rendered":"You Can’t Be Serious"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Really, you can’t be serious – not if you want to have any kind of fun in life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hi. I\u2019m Toni Petniunas, a person who does a lot of inappropriate and inadvisable things on a whim and then writes about them, hopefully for your amusement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Have you ever been totally lost in a remote Chinese village although you don’t speak the national language – and neither do they? Had a screaming match with a coked-out movie star? Been dragged into traffic by a crazy thoroughbred mare? Hoisted yourself over the fence surrounding the Acropolis to see the sunrise or climbed an Egyptian pyramid at dawn? (Note: These events occurred years apart. I’m not really that much of a morning person, but I have discovered that a great way to get over a hangover is a nice, bracing infraction of international law.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have done all these things, and remember them fondly, though I have to admit I’m not sure how I get myself into these sketchy situations. Bizarre experiences just seems to follow me around like the tiny pet rooster who used to tap at my bedroom door every morning begging to come in, which is in itself, one must admit, kind of odd. His name was Harry and I bought him from a guy who said he was a show chicken, whatever that means. I mean Harry was the show chicken, not the salesman. The salesman didn’t even have hair, no less feathers. He could never have earned the title of show chicken without an elaborate feather toupee, and you know judges see right through that sort of thing. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A hawk got Harry, who was, in fact, not harry at all, but rather feathery as I just mentioned. RIP Harry. RIP.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I invite you to peruse these pages to learn about my latest doomed-from-the-start projects, experience encounters with peculiar people or get acquainted with my new book, “I Spy China. Irreverent Insights from an Ex-Expat.<\/a>“<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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On Sale Now!<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Everything you’ve just realized you’ve always want to know about the lives, loves and culture of people living in a smoggy industrial Chinese town at the start of the Trump error . . . ah, rather era. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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By Toni Petniunas
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Click here to read a sample or buy on Kindle. (If you don’t own a kindle, you can install and use the Kindle app for free.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Get It on Amazon<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Click here to learn how to buy it for a friend. https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/help\/customer\/display.html?nodeId=GVWGP284MQ6ZRM59<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

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For those of you whose attention span precludes reading a WHOLE BOOK (I\u2019m talking to you, millennials and all generations from letters 24-26), I\u2019ve recorded a few videos of me reading partial chapters from the book. I will post them here anon. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Go ahead. Listen for free. Don\u2019t feel guilty about depriving an old lady of gettin’ paid for her painstaking labor. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Really. I have this enormous teachers’ salary to fall back on. No worries.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just pulling your pin. Look around. Enjoy yourself. Leave a comment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Best, Toni P.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Really, you can’t be serious – not if you want to have any kind of fun in life. Hi. I\u2019m Toni Petniunas, a person who does a lot of inappropriate and inadvisable things on a whim and then writes about them, hopefully for your amusement. Have you ever been totally lost in a remote Chinese… Continue reading You Can’t Be Serious<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":54,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[35,34,33,32,36],"class_list":["post-9","page","type-page","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","tag-anthony-bourdain-style","tag-funny-memoir","tag-laugh-out-loud-books","tag-travel-humor-china","tag-whats-wrong-with-china","entry"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/writertonip.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/9","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/writertonip.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/writertonip.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writertonip.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writertonip.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/writertonip.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/9\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":238,"href":"https:\/\/writertonip.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/9\/revisions\/238"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writertonip.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/54"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/writertonip.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writertonip.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writertonip.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}